A LIL POETRY II

With folded hands and and eyes shut tight, I humbly come to thee.

With a burdened mind and aching heart, I pray on bended knee,

That as days go by,

And my sister does cry. 

Let her not forget that it is He.

He who is understanding,

He who is peace.

He who makes a way for us,

He who raises the weak.

Her hurt is my hurt, Father.

Her sorrow is mine.

Let her trials be lifted,

As not my will, but thine.

She needs you now Father, 

That much is true, 

But from so far away, what more can I do?

I ask these things to be done in your name,

For there is none like you,

None with power the same.

Bring Tasha the comfort she needs to go on,

And show her that her plan was long drawn.

Keep her in your sights Lord,

That's all I can ask of you.

Because prayer is the only thing she has left that will hold true.

Not To Rub It In Their Noses.. I Promise!

   Once a long time ago, I was bullied greatly. I only had one friend throughout my elementary/middle school career. I was a very awkward child, my mom always worked so my hair didn't really look right and my clothes weren't ironed. I didn't get new shoes very often and that wouldn't have been a major problem had I not been going to a Catholic school all those years. And on tip of that, I was the only Black person in my class. So it gave my classmates a lot to talk about.
   Oddly enough, I was also very nieve an never really understood i was being bullied until after I left the private school system and went into public schools. The turnaround hit me, hard. People talked to me. They didn't snicker and whisper when I walked by. When I spoke people listened and didn't clique me out. Gawd, private school kids are mean people!! Not to say they all are like that, but apparently, to prepubescent kids, a uniform is status and status means cliques. And I was the ultimate outlier. 
   But instead of taking the abuse and being depressed about it, I decided to take a different approach. I'm going to succeed so well in like that I'll be on TV. Not for anything dumb like some news issue.. No, I want to be on tv for doing something outstanding in society. For contributing to the medical field or for helping a community in the best way I can. The bigger the better. Because one day, those who hurt me will see me. One day they'll recognize my name, my face. And one day, they'll have to tell their kids that they knew me (I mean who doesn't do that?) and even greater, they'll have to lie about what we were together in school.. Meh. Just sayin haha

MMMH Poerty

I am.

I am a trailblazer.
No not some knock off story about my life.
No this is a real struggle, true strife.
About the ones who have gone before me.
What kids bearing kids has set free.
In me.
A sense of ignoring..
My family..
Gone wrong in the paths of time
With my path, their hope does shine.
I am the one to settle their worries,
I am the one to end their stories.
You see what really lies before me?
Hope. Anger. Despair. Want. Need. Hunger. THIRST.

A Wish.
To go back and be me.
Not the me they chose to be,
But the me that chose to open my eyes and SEE
That babies taking care of babies
Takes away the freedoms to be
Just me
One me
The only responsibility
To keep my virginity
To not bring new life until I AM ready.
They think they have blazed a trail for me
When in all actuality
They stand in the smoke and ashes of what I refuse to be.

I am not another statistic.


Man this was rough...

Well hellfire!!!!!

Well am I in a pickle..

Freaking broke the only thing that ever understood me better than my self...

My laptop..

Destroyed
 It's poor face..

WHAT WILL I DO WITHOUT MY BUDDY?

TT.TT

Tumblr is lost to me
Youtube is lost to me
Fanfiction.net is lost to me
deviantArt is lost to me
Twitter is lost to me.. but that's not as bad..
Man. my livelihood depends on internets and computer.

I morn the loss all the time.
 Urgh. Don't have the money to be breaking gaming computers :(

Oh man. Government all up in my business.

Urgh, I seem to be having a slight problem. 

I have no idea what I want to do in ,my life. Yes I'm in college studying psychology, but honestly, it's not doing anything for me! I feel terrible not knowing what I'm supposed to do in life and it's confusing me to no end. I know I like education.. But I hate that the government delegates what we should know. And then on top of that, each state in the U.S. has different "standards" for learning. Honestly, who ever thought that was a good idea?!?! 

I hate the idea of being dictated to especially when it comes to what I need to learn to succeed in life. It's aggravating to have to bend to someone who thinks they know me better than myself.  I understand there has to be some order, but obviously our government isn't doing a good job of it. America boasts being the top time and time again and yet when it comes to education we aren't even in the top 20.

Since when is that something to shirk on? Since when is education not the main focal point of life itself?!

I hate being dictated to when in fact the dictation is holding me back form excelling. AND ON TOP OF THAT they want to charge tens of thousands of dollars a year for students to get a higher education!!! 

WHY?

Why make a society that requires people to be educationally sound to succeed to and then put them so far in debt to get that education?! I wonder if anyone actually realizes that this money problem is causing our society to suffer. Honestly! If no one can afford higher education, no one is going to pursue it, America plummets in socioeconomic standing and then we all FAIL TOGETHER!!!!! My goodness is it that hard to just make some things free for the betterment of the whole? We need to make sure we stay on par with those around us so that next generations can flourish and become trail blazers just like their ancestors before them. We cannot allow us, as a nation, society, or as an entire species to become stagnant in our development. If we don't learn, and continue to do well, we will not continue to press foreward and that is something I am extremely passionate about and.. and.. I think I've just realized what I want to do with my life.

Well, dear readers, look out for me in a few years because I believe I've decided to become an educational advocate. I believe I'd also need to get onto the board of education. But this is something very important. Time to do research and learn what I need to do to find my way into the system to fix it. Ugh, gonna get off of here now. See you once I've got things somewhat sorted out Readers. 

Questionnnnn!

I have a question that's very odd but, who exactly looks at my blog? I don't have an issue with it, I was just wondering where my blog would even be up to be seen! It's weird seeing 133 pageviews sometimes mainly because I didn't think anyone would ever actually look at my writing. 

Weird.

Welllllllll It's nice to finally have someone to talk to that doesn't mind my ramblings (IF you don't mind my ramblings at least) I don't mind sharing my life! It's kind of cool to see people looking at what I write even if it is just random musings. If it's even somewhat amusing to someone out there, I guess I can entertain for a little while. Who knows, it might be fun.

Meh, I hope I don't disappoint too too much for anyone! 

Such Fun.
Very Surprise.
Wow.

Those Nostalgia Feels Tho...

I am a YouTube addict.

YouTube offers me nearly all I need.

Music, Movies, AMV's, Vlogs, Playthroughs,

You should be seeing  my point in this.

Gah, YouTube is awesome!

That being said, I should probably get back to the title issue. Nostalgia... For some reason I had this burning need to get on YouTube and look old songs from my child hood. Probably not the best idea seeing as it lead to this 2 hour long thread of music and memories that were hooked along. It was like reliving the best times of my young life all over again. I saw my elementary school, my teachers, the remnants of my life that all to easily I had forgotten. How in the world have I gotten so caught up in the world that I have forgotten how to live? That carefree feeling I had, was hardly something only of the past. I should always be striving to find that happiness because I WANT that back! For 2 hours I lived in complete bliss. When had that even stopped? Who or what had taken that feeling from me? I mean really. I can't see why I would voluntarily let something so pure and sweet go. 

People might say that this is just a stage of growing up, but I think differently. I believe that growing up is when you find the things that make you find that happiness all over again. That is my honest truth. I want to find the things that make me happy. The things that make those Nostalgia Feels a real, everyday happening. I think that'll be my life long challenge. 

But first, I believe I'll need more music!